I Count Three

New Barn Cat!

Summer makes it hard for me to believe winter was ever here. There is no shortage of greenery or flowers. My homegrown vegetables and fruits are bountiful. I fall in love with the beauty of my garden daily. All my boxwood bushes are full of baby birds. But, country life has taught me that with lots of life comes oodles of death. On my five acres I currently have three carcasses that I know about. I realized today as I stepped outside to do something, that navigating this carcass and that carcass has become a bit overwhelming. I try to keep up with the dead bodies, and bury them promptly but today I got hit with a two-fer. One carcass was flown to my lawn by a smelly vulture. He decided to have a picnic under my tree. However, he did not finish his snack. Someone needs to tell that vulture that I am not his mama!!

Giant vulture. Snack not pictured. 

The second carcass of the day was a dead baby robin. I found it under a nest that had fallen from a tree. The third carcass is another dead baby leftover from last week which I housed in a temporary sarcophagus.

The sarcophagus

Unfortunately after dinner, carcass removal duty calls. I have to worry about my eleven living beasts eating or rolling in the remains which will only lead to much more headache for me.

Post Dinner Updates:

I buried all the carcasses and I kept my dinner down.

I couldn't find a face mask so I had to improvise with a sports bra, head band and fresh mint. I went over to Mike's to borrow a pitchfork. A quality pitchfork is an essential component of grave digging. I surprised him as he was coming out of his house. After noticing me, he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Well I thought I'd seen it all! Are those panties on your head?"

To some extent I admitted they were. Then I explained the situation. He offered to help, but I'd feel guilty schlepping my carcasses onto someone else's plate. That's not cool.

Here's the play by play:

Grave one-Robin: Quick and easy.

Grave two-baby bird of unknown species: Missing, surprise! Ask no questions and move on!

Grave three-roadkill mammal of unknown species: More complicated. As a general rule, I like to dig my graves right next to the victim. Digging a close grave allows you to minimize moving your carcass long distances, thus cutting down on gross factors, such as the possibility of you dropping your carcass in the commute or making eye contact. However, this particular victim was close to the base of a very large maple tree. Large maple trees are very hard to dig under because there are roots everywhere. Due to the hard, rooty soil, this fellow got a shallow grave. But at the end of the day, who's going to complain?!

After digging my graves I was sweaty. Though I had not planned it, the chin strap head band piece of my face mask came in handy. I tore it off my chin and put it in my sweaty hair.

What are your dead animal clean-up/grave digging tips?