Steve, the rooster, has started crowing. He sounds more like a man gurgling, but he's trying. I'm proud of him. He's making a good effort.
The garden is booming. We had our first red tomato yesterday. It was amazingly delicious. I have a little bitty eggplant.
I did some planting. I put in Zucchinis, pumpkins, beans, cantaloupe, Kale and something else.
Hale balls are blooming, even outside the YMCA parking lot.
But that's not so much on my mind tonight, although it should be. Here's what I'm trying to figure out.
How do you raise a teenager who isn't your own and doesn't want a "mom", is 99% apathetic to life, yet demands your constant care and attention?
Waldo, Joseph's youngest brother, came to live with us in March. He'd not been doing well in college and was sick of living with his smothering parents. Joseph and I arranged for him to come live with us. Immature at his ripe age of 19, we naively thought we could provide a halfway house between adulthood and childhood. We'd save him sure-fire fate of man baby. Now I understand why his parents were smothering him.
I just don't get Waldo. I've never seen someone coast on life's wings like this kid. When I was his age I was tearing it up! Getting trashed, telling people what I really thought of them. Sure, I was useless, but at least I was violent! Waldo, doesn't really have a strong opinion about anyone or anything and especially not his own life. Oh, Waldo, if I could just give you an ounce of my craziness!!
Waldo had to be taught everything, and we'd anticipated this. What he'd do with his new found knowledge was the big surprise. I'd told Waldo at the onset of his stay that I'd expect him to do household chores and clean his bathroom. A month into things, the bathroom hadn't been touched.
"Waldo, you need to clean your bathroom."
"Oh, yeah, I kind of did. I swept in there."
"That's not cleaning the bathroom Waldo. Have you ever cleaned a bathroom?"
"Well, I've seen it done."
"O.K. Let's do it together." I then proceeded to give a step by step demonstration of how to clean the bathroom, including how to gather supplies.
"Um, what do you want me to do?" He asked as I scrubbed his toilet.
"Nothing, just watch and repeat in 2 weeks."
It's been 8 weeks. Has Waldo cleaned his bathroom? No, not once.
Another fine example of what I'm dealing with:
"Waldo, do you think you could give the chickens water? I've got to run."
"Yeah, sure."
Hours later I return home.
"Waldo, did you give the chickens water?"
"Well, no, it rained so I just thought....."
Waldo, got the nastiest look from me as I stormed off to take care of business.
So, that's Waldo in a nutshell. He doesn't seem to appreciate the time and energy we put into his existence here. I guess that's to be expected from a teenager. But I can't help but wonder and be frustrated when it seems that Waldo just isn't here, or there or anywhere.
Where's Waldo?
I did some planting. I put in Zucchinis, pumpkins, beans, cantaloupe, Kale and something else.
But that's not so much on my mind tonight, although it should be. Here's what I'm trying to figure out.
How do you raise a teenager who isn't your own and doesn't want a "mom", is 99% apathetic to life, yet demands your constant care and attention?
Waldo, Joseph's youngest brother, came to live with us in March. He'd not been doing well in college and was sick of living with his smothering parents. Joseph and I arranged for him to come live with us. Immature at his ripe age of 19, we naively thought we could provide a halfway house between adulthood and childhood. We'd save him sure-fire fate of man baby. Now I understand why his parents were smothering him.
I just don't get Waldo. I've never seen someone coast on life's wings like this kid. When I was his age I was tearing it up! Getting trashed, telling people what I really thought of them. Sure, I was useless, but at least I was violent! Waldo, doesn't really have a strong opinion about anyone or anything and especially not his own life. Oh, Waldo, if I could just give you an ounce of my craziness!!
Waldo had to be taught everything, and we'd anticipated this. What he'd do with his new found knowledge was the big surprise. I'd told Waldo at the onset of his stay that I'd expect him to do household chores and clean his bathroom. A month into things, the bathroom hadn't been touched.
"Waldo, you need to clean your bathroom."
"Oh, yeah, I kind of did. I swept in there."
"That's not cleaning the bathroom Waldo. Have you ever cleaned a bathroom?"
"Well, I've seen it done."
"O.K. Let's do it together." I then proceeded to give a step by step demonstration of how to clean the bathroom, including how to gather supplies.
"Um, what do you want me to do?" He asked as I scrubbed his toilet.
"Nothing, just watch and repeat in 2 weeks."
It's been 8 weeks. Has Waldo cleaned his bathroom? No, not once.
Another fine example of what I'm dealing with:
"Waldo, do you think you could give the chickens water? I've got to run."
"Yeah, sure."
Hours later I return home.
"Waldo, did you give the chickens water?"
"Well, no, it rained so I just thought....."
Waldo, got the nastiest look from me as I stormed off to take care of business.
So, that's Waldo in a nutshell. He doesn't seem to appreciate the time and energy we put into his existence here. I guess that's to be expected from a teenager. But I can't help but wonder and be frustrated when it seems that Waldo just isn't here, or there or anywhere.
Where's Waldo?
Speaking as a former parent of a teenager, i think you might be over-valuing the violent thing - "at least i was violent".
ReplyDeleteThat being said, i sympathize with your predicament and emphasize with the issue of trying to deal with a teenager who's not your own. I know it's not easy, but I feel certain that you'll find your way through it.
Good luck!