Q&A with Bill Scrapps

Part One. My interview with Bill Scrapps

Mrs B: What are you doing at my house?

BS: I saw this tall guy running around today and decided to help him out by showing him around the neighborhood. When he got to this white house, I decided I was ready to move into a home.

Mrs B: Where have you been living?

BS:  I had an owner, but he died. His grandson said he would take care of me when the old man died, but he took over the old man's house and kicked me out. I think that boy would have said anything to get the old man's inheritance. I was sad. That old man was my best friend. We spent all day, every day together. Since then I've been roaming around, sleeping in barns, eating dead animals and chasing runners.

Mrs B: What makes you think you can move into this house?

BS: There are two other black dogs living here and the tall guy keeps talking to me. I think he needs my help around here.

Mrs B: I guess you can stay here, but you can't pee all over the place.

BS: Why not?

Mrs B: Because indoor dogs pee outside. If you want to live here you have to pee outside. And, I'm going to chop off your nuts.

BS: Hmmmm. That seems harsh. What about my civil rights?

Mrs B: You don't have civil rights here. As a compensation for stealing your nuts I'll give you a warm place to sleep, fresh food and water and I'll get the worms out of your ass.

BS: Can I think on it?

Mrs B: Sure, in the meantime, I'll keep you here, give you some vaccines and feed you.

BS: Sounds good.


Part Two. How to vaccinate and treat a stray dog for worms on Sunday.

Q: There are small, flat, white worms hanging out of my stray dog's ass. What should I do?

A: Eww, gross! These are most likely tapeworms as a result of flea infestation. Wash the dog with Dawn or Joy to kill off any fleas, and put the dog in a crate. Go to Tractor Supply or call a local pet store and ask them if they carry dewormer for dogs. The man I talked to at Tractor Supply recommended this brand.

You put one packet in the dogs food once a day for three days. Seven days after the last dose, repeat the whole process. The first three doses are to kill off the active worms. The repeat process is important to kill the eggs. Also, treat the dog for fleas by applying some kind of flea medication. In Middle Tennessee, fleas have developed a tolerance to Frontline so you'll need to use Advantix or this stuff:

Q: This buck wild dog doesn't know what dry dog food is. He's not eating the food or the worming medication. Help! 

A: Get a can of wet dog food and some chicken. Mix that up with a little dry kibble and the worm medication. He'll eat that shit.

Q: I don't think this mangy mutt has had any vaccines. It's Sunday and the vet is closed. What should I do? 

A: Vaccinate him yourself son! Get your buns back to Tractor Supply and ask them for this:

Draw up the liquid bottle with the needle and inject it into the bottle with powder. With the needle still in the bottle, roll the bottle around to mix up the medicine. Once the solution is clear and mixed draw it up into the syringe. With the needle upright wack the syringe to get any bubbles to the top. Push out any air left in the syringe. Pull up the dogs neck scruff and inject the vaccine under his skin. Do this every three weeks four times. In the meantime, quarantine him from your dogs by keeping him in a crate. Make an appointment with the vet on Monday to have him checked for heart worms and whatever else.

Last but not least, vacuum the beejesus out of your house! He's got wormy butt!